i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war