Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
then my best friend's brother, boyfriend, and future bro in law showed up at the bar. they asked who i was there with. didn't know if "a 40 year old man" or "my 5th grade teacher" was better answer.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
These 19 Underage Drinkers Epicly Got By With A Horrible Fake ID
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
These Are The 21 Strangest Sexual Fantasy Confessions
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.