i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
This is the way my sobriety ends: Not with a bang, but with a whimper.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'm sorry I murdered your sperm with my alcohol saturated Olympic uterus.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
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