Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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