i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I have 3 bottles of vodka in my room telling me not to go to work tomorrow.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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