How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
This morning my doorman told me it was an accomplishment for me to be standing and conscious after last night.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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