i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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