I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
My boob is missing a layer of skin
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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