There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
I just gargled with NyQuil
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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