Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
