my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Randomize
