Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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