Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
you traded sex for a burrito?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
