i just had sex bonerless
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
Rubbed one out while on hold to buy tickets to Disneyland. Feel simultaneously like a freak and strangely productive.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
