At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
