PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
All the doctor said was why
Randomize
