I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
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