i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
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