He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
