this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I want to ride his face like a jet ski
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize