My room smells like vodka and shame
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Randomize
