We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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