How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Randomize
