It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
I just changed her number in my phone to "You Wouldn't If You were Sober"
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
not ubering you a puppy
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
