So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
