Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
