If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
Four minutes until I can fart!
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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