how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
