Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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