Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
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