Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Randomize
