Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
I'm, like, this 🤏🏼 close to buying crocs
And you're also 🤏🏼 to never putting your dick inside me again
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