plz talk dirty to me
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
