I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
