I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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