YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
All his ex-girlfriends are delicate flowers, tho. And I'm like a trash compactor.
I wouldn't worry about it. You know what they say, THICK THIGHS MAKE THE DICK RISE.
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
