I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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