I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Randomize
