yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
