Life lesson: when driving and throwing up, choose a paper bag over plastic. Fuck my life.
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
Randomize
