I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
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