I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
