He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
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I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
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I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
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