a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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