Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
We fed him just...so many bright colored crayons when he was blacked out. I hope he looks at his shits because this could be all for nothing
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
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