C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
