the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No I am not eating basil off your cock
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
Randomize
