billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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