Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize