At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
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