hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
