The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
