I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
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Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
He said he was trying to live vicariously through me. I didn't have the heart to tell him that meant he was vicariously fucking his best friend.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
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I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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