I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
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I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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