wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
