There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
You made me take you back to Mcdonalds so you could yell at the guy for not giving you enough ketchup packets
I vaguely recall french fries...
You then proceeded to call your mom and tell her you weren't coming home because you were "tripping balls"
Sweet...
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
