All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
What did we do last night that was yellow?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I drunkenly called my ex on Skype last night and didn't talk, just smiled real big at him until I fell asleep.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
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