did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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