i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
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