I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize