Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
he kept saying "mind over matter" as he fucked me
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Randomize
