Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
Randomize