just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Randomize
