you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
So to recap Superbowl Sunday - I won $100, bumped into the anti-christ and his cult, met a guy in a kilt and a wican, then got invited to a gayguy afterhours party.
Gonna be tough to beat that next year!
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So do you want to be the old guy picking up a girl in a mini skirt who may be slightly buzzed before noon from college, or shall i walk over?
Funny how I'm trusting a magic 8 ball I found in the kids toy section to tell me about my sex life
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
