No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
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