also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
Randomize
