all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
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