I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
