You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Randomize
