just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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