he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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