you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
