so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
the day after is always just damage control
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
