dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
When the cops come you probably shouldn't be poking cars with a stick.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
I just want to make out with him forever
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize