I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
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