Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
My sole motivation for showering this morning was to masturbate. Something is wrong here...
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Randomize
