Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
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